The whole idea of having a routine scares me. Then again, when I realize that I don't have a fixed routine, I will never get anything done. If I don't throw myself into getting my to-do list check marked, I have no purpose in life. Especially being self-employed......I create my own schedule and it's definitely worked against me.
My personality doesn't feel like it's suited for adding those little check marks that make me feel good about my day. I want to check mark something just a little more meaningful to me, like getting a laugh in for the day or taking a spontaneous road trip to LA. It's that adrenaline that I often miss in this monotonous lifestyle we exist within, especially now with quarantine and all. Staying at home being the new norm and vaccination being your token to freedom....it is absolutely incredible how life's been shuffled and the cards dealt to us is indeed a beautiful pandemic.
Hence, routine has taken over my life more than ever. I guess it's okay, it means getting things done, it means paving a path to attaining a goal, it means stability in every sense, it means living life with a purpose. It means a lot of things. But it also means not living impulsively, not riding on your immediate instincts, not so many things....and that's also okay I guess. The problem I do have with it is sometimes I create this big idea of what my future looks like...or even what next month may look like, that I lose sight of today. I kind of blame my routine for this because it is what's working towards this assumed future...but again, it's okay. I need to focus on how routine life is not such a bad thing after all.
I always wonder how different people lead their lives. I see a guy hanging at the back of his jeep wearing the most chill outfit of the century, getting his half-eaten burrito out of a brown bag, and walking towards an empty bench getting ready to indulge in the other half of his now soggy burrito. I wondered what his routine is like, where did he come from, if he even had a routine, if so was he following through with it. Maybe he went around town trying out different burritos, identified that the one he was holding was half-decent, and decided to finish it on this bench facing the deep turquoise ocean. He probably thought it deserved the view.
There is one thing I love about my routine life apart from the fact that I know it's going to help me evolve in the long run. And that is the chocolate milk. It's always consistently good, because I the masterchef of my own food which is only tolerable enough for me to consume, have standardized on a method of creating this drink. I am currently off sugar but I still enjoy a good stevia and cacao based chocolate milk. It never, ever, never fails me. Whether I wake up super happy and ready to apply some carpe diem, or whether I'm in the mood to kick down the thickest tree with a good Beckham grit, the choccy milk will always be dependable.
I remember the first time I discovered this routine life, the first time I ever had to apply it for myself. It was as soon as I left home and realized that being 'independent' came with its own challenges. It was actually the first time I learnt how to turn on a stove or clean a toilet bowl. I was so fascinated when I understood how these complicated chores worked that I felt like I could dominate the world if I put my mind to it. Okay, that's an exaggeration, but it really was a remarkable feeling though. When I took control of my life, I also felt a lot more confident in why I chose to move and be by myself, how I'm doing what I really want to do and subsequently, making life value as well as goal oriented at the same time. Being in my early twenties, that was really important to know and understand for myself. That was everything to me at that time.
I also came to the conclusion that asking questions was key to living and learning. It doesn't make you any less of a human being to ask out loud absolutely anything at all that you're baffled about. I had this initial fear when I moved to the States that if I asked questions, people around me would assume that I was just such a newbie and would be left to the side. I soon came to know that that was probably the silliest misconception I'd ever had. Once I observed the people around me shooting questions after questions, doubts after doubts, opinions after options, I resolved to do the very same.
Which I did....and never stopped. I asked my peers random questions about their lives, I asked my professors anything I needed to know to further my artistic abilities, I asked my counselors who they thought I was from their perspective, I asked a guy at the grocery store how he liked working there...I just kept on asking. It really did help. Not only did it benefit my knowledge of what was going on, but also my time in the studio. It brought me some awareness on what I wanted to specialize in my practice. I started sensing what I really wanted to do with my life and how I was supposed to delve into a path as abstract as Art....which brought me to the realization that it was indeed the world of Abstraction itself.
Anyway, all in all, having a routine is beneficial guys. It can be hard sometimes but it does help sculpt out purpose and definitely boosts identifying meaning to life and existence. So grab that pen and paper (yes I'm totally old school), and jot down that list! ;)